So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
