literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
