did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
