i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
