I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
