Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
