Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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