Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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