My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
