'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
birth control should be required to get into college
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
