Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
