He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
