I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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