I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
