Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
