Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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