he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
