Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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