I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
