But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
