Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
