'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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