If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
