No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
