oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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