How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
