I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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