sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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