dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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