i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
