You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
