STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
