Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
