I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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