things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
