She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
