Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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