No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
