Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
