the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
