I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
