I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
