theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
