Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Fuck me I smell like cheese
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
