The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
