she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
