pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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