Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
