i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
