id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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