she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
