I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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