i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
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