I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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