Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
just tell him i said nine months
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Randomize
