There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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