currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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