the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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