I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize