There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
