I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
