I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize