Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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