I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
