the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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